Audrey's reflection

I don't hate Brooklyn, I just love Israel a lot more.

I can't seem to shake this feeling: Like I need Israel to be happy. The minute I stepped onto the ground of Israel and my eyes saw it, I felt so comforted. I felt like everything was right in the world because we were all in Israel.

Every morning I wake up in my bed in Brooklyn and ask myself why I'm not in Israel. Why I'm not in the ocean of Tel Aviv or touching the walls of the Kotel.

It was so hard to say goodbye. It was harder to get on the plane to go home to my parents and sisters than it was to leave them. I thought that saying good bye to my family in the airport would be the hardest part of the trip, but as it turns out, the hardest part was saying good bye to my home away from home. I miss it dearly. I miss the smell, I miss the way I feel when I'm there. Like nothing can harm me. I miss the people and I miss the food and the stores. I miss all the times Maddy and I called Ilan and Gideon's hotel room just to have a laugh. I miss walking on the streets of Jerusalem. I miss the challenge of having to take a shorter shower. I miss the feeling of not knowing what all the signs meant, I loved being able to learn something new every day.

We got off the plane in JFK and it frustrated me that I knew what everything meant. I loved how easy it was to ask what something was and how interesting it was to learn about it. We got off the plane and I felt as though I could just turn around and go back. I didn't want to get off. Instead of being relieved that we could finally get off the plane I was sad. I had some idea in my head that we would have to turn around and stay for 3 more weeks.

I need to climb Masada again. I need to go back in the Dead Sea with healthier skin and less cuts so that it doesn't hurt so much. I need one more falafel. Please? I need to look out my hotel window and say to myself, "Wow. That's Jerusalem." I need to make one more inside joke and I need to put on my bathing suit in the middle of February just one more time.

I miss the adventure. In the video we made before our trip almost everyone said they wanted an adventure. It was too short- I need more. I need more adventure and I need more Israel. I need more memories and I need more laughs. I can't wait to go again.

But most of all, I miss the friendships I made and strengthened with the rest of our small but incredible group. The seven of us became a family. And seeing each other every Sunday just isn't enough.

Maddy already called dibs on being first on the list to sign up. I'll take second.

Let the record show that Ilan has two oranges, and that I miss Israel. Too much.

I hope Israel misses me too. Audrey.